Reflecting on camaraderie, structure and opportunity (plus visits to Sarge’s office)
When he started at Newington in Year 11, Mr Stephen Zahr (ON 1998) felt like a fish out of water. Now managing director of a Sydney law firm, at a recent Eid dinner held by Newington College, Stephen reflected on resilience, finding his place at Newington and why he sent his own children here.
‘When I was first asked if I would be prepared to make a speech as an Old Newingtonian, my initial response was, are you sure you want me to do it? I spent my entire school life at Newington in the Sergeant’s office.
Like many of the students who attend Newington today, I am the first generation of my family to be born in Australia. My parents arrived in this country in the 1970s from Lebanon. Due to the war there, they came to Australia looking for a better life. They spoke no English and had no work experience. As a young kid, seeing my parents navigate life here was tough. I was witness to them trying to fit into Australian life and culture while on the other hand, trying not to compromise their beliefs and own cultural values. And it was a difficult balancing act.
Both my mother and father worked multiple jobs day and night just to be able to give myself and my siblings a better life. They failed on many occasions but one thing I can say is, they never gave up trying again because they wanted the best for us. My father came to this country with $40 in his pocket and growing up, he reminded us of that fact often. Now, at nearly 80, he still likes to remind us, but I am always so grateful for the life he made for us.
I had a normal primary school upbringing in Sydney and then in Year 7, I went to Hurstville Boys High. There was a lot of freedom, and we could do what we wanted at that school. It was basically friends hanging out. But when I was in Year 10, my father said, next year it is time for you to go to Newington, and I’ll be paying a lot of money to send you there. No pressure, I remember thinking at the time although I had never heard of Newington College.
My first six months in Year 11 at Newington was a very overwhelming experience. My friends at my old school teased me about my new uniform with its socks to the knees, blazer and tie – there was nothing like that where I’d come from. Also, the discipline was an eye-opener. Not being allowed to eat on trains and having to have a specific haircut was strange at first. I’d come from a school with lots of other Lebanese and Muslim students but when I came to Newington, I was in the minority.
On my first day, I turned up with spiky hair and sideburns. Walking down Centenary Drive, the Sergeant took one look at me and said, I don’t know where you’ve come from but come with me. He marched me down to the local hairdresser and I had a traditional short back and sides. Only days after, I was back in his office again following an altercation on the basketball court. He looked at me and said, Mr Zahr… I feel it’s going to be a very long two years. Because I was often seeing him daily, we went on to become quite good friends.
I found my place at Newington through sport. The camaraderie that came through playing for the 1st XI is something I will never forget. Every game was like a battle, and we all backed each other. Another fond memory of Newington are the teachers and support staff. They were amazing. I remember during my initial struggles to acclimatise in Year 11, one particular teacher, my English teacher, asked me one day if everything was ok. After I finished explaining my efforts to do my schoolwork and achieve, he said, if you stop struggling, you stop life, so without struggle there is no progress. I’ve never forgotten those words.
– 1st XI Soccer 1998
I did well in the HSC in 1998 but finished school without really knowing what I wanted to do. I decided to study criminal law, and I went on to start my own family business, which I run today with my two brothers. Many of my clients are friends from my Hurstville days and looking back, I honestly don’t think I would be the one representing them in court today if it wasn’t for the discipline and structure Newington instilled in me as a young person.
I was busy building my career after school and didn’t have much to do with the College until I had to pick a high school for my children, and then I didn’t hesitate. I chose Newington. My kids are in Year 7 and Year 9 and while not much has changed in the landscape of the school, I can see it has matured so much in its acceptance, inclusion and diversity.
The fact I’m up here speaking at an Eid dinner, and that last year I attended an Iftar dinner here is testimony to that. So is the fact there is now a prayer room available for use by the multi-faith student community. Also, I look at the friends my boys have at Newington, and it is really a living example of multiculturalism at work; they have friends from every background and religious belief.
– Eid Dinner photos
A great example of that is my boys were asked to bring a non-Muslim friend to this Eid dinner, so my boys chose Jack and Harry, two other brothers at Newington who are in the same years as my boys. They are two boys of Jewish background. My boys are of Muslim background. They are best friends.
This is a prime example of the acceptance and diversity that Newington offers and teaches. If only world leaders could have the same open mind and look at these young people as an example, then maybe the world could be a better place. My boys are loving their experiences at Newington too, and it appears on occasion, that the younger one is getting to know the sergeant’s office well like his Dad.
This transcript of Mr Stephen Zahr’s (ON 1998) speech was taken from the Eid Dinner which took place on 3 April 2025 at Newington College.
