Written by Deputy, Pastoral (K–12), Ms Jessica Wickenden as a letter to Stanmore 7–12 students, families and staff.

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Dear Newington Community,

Across our Senior School campus, there’s a quiet tradition that speaks volumes about our culture. As students leave their classrooms, it’s common to hear a polite call of ‘Thank you, Ma’am’ or ‘Thanks for today, Sir.’ No one instructed them to do this. It’s not written down and it’s not part of a formal program or orientation. It seems to have grown organically. Perhaps younger students overheard seniors and just ran with it.

As a teacher at Newington, it’s a wonderful thing to know that students, on some level, understand the effort it takes to prepare a lesson and choose to acknowledge it with gratitude.

Last term, as Year 12 prepared to graduate, I met individually with around 30 students for academic and post-school check-ins. It was a final chance to offer support and ensure each felt ready for both the examinations and the transition ahead. Near the end of these conversations, I went off script and asked – ‘Of all the adults in the College, who is the one you would go to with a challenge? Who knows you best?’

If I could capture their faces as I asked, their eyes lit up, smiles appeared, and answers came without hesitation, often followed by two or three more names. Choosing just one was often the hardest part.

I also had the opportunity to ask, ‘Have you told them this? Would they know what they’ve meant to you?’

Most hadn’t but almost immediately, they began talking about how they intended to express their gratitude before leaving. For all the stereotypes about teenagers that might exist, we should be proud of how quick our students are to acknowledge the above-and-beyond efforts of the adults around them.

And it wasn’t just at school. Speaking with Year 12 families at graduation events, the same trend was emerging at home. Of the speeches made by students at many of our graduation events, there was ready acknowledgement of the sacrifices made by parents to support their journey through senior school. Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise us, we’ve been finding ways to weave gratitude into everything we do at Newington.

Global research tells us gratitude is powerful. It’s linked to lower depression, reduced anxiety, and stronger relationships. It helps people deal with adversity and fosters resilience.  

Ask any teacher what matters most at year’s end, and it won’t be the gift they received, though those are appreciated. It will be the honest, thoughtfully written words in a card or the student to who stops at the door after the last classmate has left to provide the heartfelt words in person. Those words stay with us.

One of my first mentors suggested creating a folder titled ‘Warm and Fuzzy Feedback.’ We laughed at the name, but the idea stuck. It’s the place you save those notes of gratitude, the reminders of why we do what we do.

With so much to be appreciative of in our school community, could we make it our goal to contribute to others’ ‘warm and fuzzy’ folders too? Not just at the end of the year, but at key moments, through words that are thoughtful and genuine.

Gratitude costs nothing, but we’ve seen its impact ripple through classrooms in ways you can’t measure. Let’s keep building a culture where appreciation is spoken, written, and lived every day. In this instance, we owe it to our teenagers to take their lead and role model it further in our communities.  
 

Jessica Wickenden
Deputy, Pastoral (K–12)